Marriage is a flower

 



“When you start to develop your powers of empathy and imagination, the whole world opens up to you."      - Susan Sarandon



Watching her act in movies as a child, there was always something in her that I did admire. The last movie being "Shall we dance?" where she goes on to say...





“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'.”



She had a non-marriage relationship with Tim Robbins for 23 years, but they separated last year.



The term "marriage" has become a topic that calls for great thought and reasoning. To many of the neo-humans, marriage is more like a contract burden, whereas to some others "marriage" is just a Ctrl+C-Ctrl+V tradition that is to be followed. So why marry?



I think the custom called "marriage" evolved into becoming a social instrument, an instrument that traffic-controls the human sexual energy. So now that brings us to the all important topic of Sex, and sex education. Lots of research to be done in that area for me, talk about that later, coming back to "marriage".



I remember an interview of Justin Timberlake, he was asked about what he thought about marriage and he replied something like this, "Oh, marriage, it is scary, I can't think of anyone tied to just one partner all their life, that's so silly, why should anyone do this to themselves?"



Maybe Justin was telling his heart out or maybe just as a joke. Which little child likes to be brought up by many fathers and mothers?



So then the next idea for them is, to eliminate the idea of having children. Then with time, the age population pyramid loses it equilibrium, more older people than the young. Example: Japan - see below.







Who will take care of them when old? So then the next idea is, to remain young or remain attractive forever in order to have people to take care of you, so retain the money attraction factor, so retain as much money in one's own name...then for that, the next idea is to get greedy at all costs, Rich dad or Poor dad, manufacture useless products, pollute the earth, sell women in porn, demoralize other countries, play around wuth trade policies, all to get the money...then next what happens? Our man, Osama Bin Laden is credited for killing the innocents of the World Trade Centre, more war, humanity degrades, our earth suffers, we all suffer. I know the line of logic is very thin, but it's pure, and it makes sense to me.



I think the idea of "marriage" in its true intention is one of the greatest of human customs, the society needs the instrument called "marriage", we do not live in a world full of Saints. There are all kinds of people, some get attached to a desire and some don't,, at present all are in different levels of spiritual development. The important thing is that our children should have parents to take care of them, to give them the best of care, the best of heaven on earth.



A woman is just a soul in a female body and a man is just a soul in a male body, that's it. Would it not be nice if they just cared for each other. This is good for the earth as a whole.



But today, the idea or the very definition of marriage has become distorted, it has become a legal contract. And for other many it's become a burden game of domination of both the genders. Then in other cases, marriage seems to be a cage to sexual expression. Every movie you see, you see the actor changing his woman or her man, or probably dancing with many skin clad women, then how is it that, just one woman for life is going to help it? Why this man when she could have got that man?

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I remember seeing that last James Bond movie Quantum of Solace, Bond is trying to find the villain who killed his girl friend of the previous movie Casino Royale, and in the process of avenging his girl's death, he sleeps with other women en route to success. In fact there is a scene in the movie, where he just walks with his new girl after all the thrill fights, he is all perfect in suit and shoes walking on the hot desert sand, whereas his girl friend along side looked like she was bare foot, but the background music of the movie takes you to think of Bond as the man to be for, audience cheering. And now are we asking Bond to get married?



So coming back to marriage...



I classify marriages into three groups:

I observe that any given Marriage consists of three elements:



1. Like marriage element: Occurs when two like each other for some material attributes in each other. E.g. A man marrying a woman for dowry (but please do note, in actuality, it's a FARCE the man marries the dowry and not the woman). Or a woman marrying a man for his good looks (but again do note, in actuality, this marriage is a "FARCE", she is marrying the good looks and not the man).



2. Contract marriage element: Occurs when two are made into a couple due to external or internal factors. E.g. A man marrying a particular woman because she is in accordance to his community prevalent senses/customs. OR even kidnapping a person using physical force or black mailing a person, to get married. (This way, in actuality, the marriage is a "FARCE", the couples are not getting married to each other, but rather they are being married to their inability to stand up for their freedom).



3. Spiritual marriage element: Occurs when the two love each other, the mutual love at the level of true love, a near example of this love being like that of the love between a mother and her child. The love propels them to be in touch with the reality, this is the only element that makes a marriage "TRUE", the man marries the woman as she is, in this state, it's highly likely that they will think in a practical sense, on how to achieve a valuable union and a healthy environment for their children to grow in, this foresight may even happen perhaps even before they get married.





The diagram below illustrates the possible constituting elements (L, C, S) 

and some examples of their driving factors.





All divorces in the world can only happen to the marriages which have the first two elements (L+C) as prominent over the third element, the Spiritual element (S).



The Like marriage element holds a marriage bond strong only as long as the "mutual like of the material attribute" is above the required threshold level. The Contract marriage element holds a marriage strong as long as the "factor of forceful make" is above the required threshold level. 



Whereas in Spiritual marriage element, we find no sense in saying that it might break up, since this element is constituted by driving factors that are very strong/true by definition, the nearest example to illustrate this point, being that a child is always a child to a mother, it's rare to hear that a mother had willingly dumped her child, generally speaking, it's auto-spiritual for a mother to have immense compassion for her child, a near manifestation of true love.



Now, if you look at any married couple, their relationship will have the attributes of all the above three types of marriage elements, L, C and S. The more that a couple can convert the (L + C) into S, the greater the success of value of the marriage. S is irreversible, once you know the truth to happiness, why should anyone go back to the lies. But please do note, that no marriage can be 100% in Spiritual element, the practical goal is that out of the three elements, S should be greater than (L+C), for a marriage to be threshold-level-TRUE.



To further elaborate on L and C, I wish to show the scope of these two types of marriages.



High level L types of marriage elements include 

  • Prostitution is a bought-marriage of the bodies.

  • The college/school level youth having sex is also an example.

  • Adultery too is a high L type marriage. Others include Casting couch, pre-marital sex... etc.

Low level L types include

  • You find something in common.

  • You like something about the other one, physical looks, personality traits.

  • Similar religionstyle, socialstyle etc.

  • For financial security, marrying a rich man, or taking dowry from the girl's parents... etc.

High level C types include

  • Kidnap: Getting consent forcefully. "Force" being the "factor of make".

  • Rape: A forceful marriage of the bodies 

  • Drugging someone with intoxicants to lose the sense of discrimination(Vivekam).

  • Brainwashing someone with long term mental tricks.

  • Obsession to possess someone.... etc. 

Low level C types include 

  • Bonded marriage, using brainwash techniques of old distorted religion related traditions.

  • Parents dealership in the marriage contract.

  • Societal pressures to follow the prevalent codes of conduct....etc.

Well, I have given you the clue. Now you will be able to get a better idea. Our goal, is to increase the S type marriage element in the marriages of our society. Tell me what's it going to take... I hope you got the love-logic here...



A quote for men for all time to come.

"By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower." 

- Tagore



 A quote for both the men and women for all time to come.

"Marriage is a flower, 

not the plastic, not the mirage, but a real one, 

it gives fruits, it supports life

 nurture it, admire it, understand it and serve it."

- Agni Ruhen



There is a sad Keralite folk song that's sung at my family temple, it's a song written about my great great great grand father, the song narrates that he was a brave man, one of the most feared men of his place and time. He used to always carry a sword for protection, no one could dare touch him.



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But the highered caste men quickly found him to be an enemy to their false self-acclaimed status, but still no one could dare over power him, he was a free spirit of strength. Gaining great respect from the local masses. And that's when a lady from a highered caste family fell in love with him, no one liked it, but she stood against everyone's wishes and got married to him. I don't know how it went, but I like to see it like this, that he went to her house, called out her name loud and when she came, he took her by the hand, marched out and got married to her. No one dared to stop him. So they moved out from South Kerala towards the north and settled at Thrissur district and lived there happily ever after...



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....beep...no, not in Kerala those days, people were madly divided among caste lines, the oppressors had to find a way to kill him, this apostate and his outcaste, he should be killed. They tried many plots to kill, but failed.



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But seeing a highered woman with a lowered man was just too unbearable for the existence of the false social frame work, so finally they approached a wise crook for advice. The crook said to them "Every man has his weakness and so does he, find it and kill him". So they thought hard to find his Achilles' heel, and they found it. This brave man was only strong when he had his sword in his hand, the reason for why he carried the sword wherever he went. The highered caste men finally figured out a way to kill him. During one of his travel days, they waited for him to defecate by the bush, so while washing himself, since no man would hold a sword, they got their man, they pounced on him, trashed him and killed him.



   The Pseudo-caste system - the 4 distorted class system



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Today, ten generations down the line, here I am blogging about the incident about the man and his wife. His wife must have wept a lot, "how could those people be so blind". I hear she was a wise woman and highly revered by the family, there is a memorial for her at the temple.



Such is the blindness of our society to destroy the pure idea called "marriage". And now, is it not time for me to avenge it's wounded soul.



But again as a corollary, I wish to add.



Today, the same family temple has got all screwed up now, with loads of distortion and hypocrisy, I rarely go there to that temple now, but that temple is dear to me, there is another folk story of a Gujarati Saint who once passed by and was well treated by my great great grand father man and in return the Swami gifted him the secret scroll to heal diseases of the eye, it was valid for only a certain number of generations till my grand father stopped the profession and went into Politics and Journalism. Well, that's a story for another day. I guess.

52 comments:

  1. One question, how many spiritually married couples do you know?
    Or alright say how many L, C types could make it into S-type?
    Now, according to me its going to take lots of research into practical aspects of idealism. Research into stories of L and C type couples, was it fear of society or has it become the norm,every thing in the name of common sense/prevalent? one of my teachers used to say,"Common sense makes you blind"
    But then about idealism too, its only a dream with eyes- open or closed, distant goal for every tomorrow to come.
    does that make sense to you?

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  2. Spiritual marriages have NO divorce option, you say no-sense in breaking mother child kinda relationship....
    Another question- Can there be many (read-more than one) spiritual marriages of a person?
    like a mother has many children, you see but then you will say...ok
    ok, lets hear "you" say it, please and do ask sonic to lend you some zoom speed to reply ;)

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  3. Spiritually married couples... if every there was any couple that cared for each other, for those true moments/periods of time, those couples were in deed spiritual.

    Khadija/Mohammed, Krishna and Mira Bai, Jesus and a devoted nun...
    Just look around you will see it all over, look at the good you seen your own family, relatives, neighbours, if there was anything good and true in any marriage, it was the spiritual sectional element of it, everything else the L and C just an illusion.

    All L+C couples can make it to S type, the choice is theirs, and the blessings are God's.

    So your teacher tells you that, "Common Sense makes one blind". Please, let me know what he means by Common sense, or at the least let me know what you mean by the term "Common sense".

    Common sense can mean many things...

    COMMON SENSE: In post-modernism in general, common sense is considered a fiction created by those in power to convince the oppressed that ideology is simply the way things really are.

    COMMON SENSE: Ordinary sensible understanding; one's basic intelligence which allows for plain understanding and without which good decisions or judgments cannot be made.

    COMMON SENSE: An internal sense, formerly believed to be the sense by which information from the other five senses is understood and interpreted.

    COMMON SENSE: That sense that people commonly make out, from a given phenomenon, let's say the democractic sense.

    Please let me know what your Sir means by "Blinding common sense"?

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  4. Common sense - exactly that which tells you here that my teacher is a "Sir!"

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  5. The fact that I thought your teacher as a "Sir" cannot be called as "Common Sense", it's lack of concentration, or say partial sense.

    Do elaborate on what your teacher has got to say about Common Sense. I shall get to your other questions later, hope you don't mind it, step by step would be fine.

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  6. Common Sense- i think mt teacher wanted to put in the conditioning of mind to social norms, there! Things you find prevalent in society, things that are common, facts that are common- you take them as it is without questioning and look no further; Something's that is common doesnot have to be correct, find newer angles, apply! thats what the teacher wanted to point out. Institutions like school, family, religion feed you with it.
    That is exactly with marriages L & C types.
    Waiting for answer to second one coz i believe if you spiritual marriages were anything, i am going to the homos' wedding, it sounds perfectly legal... u c d point in there... i hope u don't mind ur research going awry there coz of me ;)but reconsider, u will find a way out!
    Answer, answer...

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  7. Okay your teacher's definition for common sense is that sense that's prevalent and common, I call it the democratic sense.

    I agree with your teacher, kudos to her for making her students think and to evolve.

    Research is fine, u got good questions there for me to work on...must thank you for that.

    Now to the next question...
    I quote...
    "But then about idealism too, its only a dream with eyes- open or closed, distant goal for every tomorrow to come. does that make sense to you?"

    Idealism, I wonder how you define it. But the usual definition goes like this: The idealist is one who pursues more of ideals than of practical considerations.

    Idealism as per this definition is indeed a total failure.

    We need results.

    My definition for idealism is:
    "Only if one is 100% practical only then can he/she call himself/herslef as ideal."

    The ideals must include the idea as well the dynamic-substance that defines the ideas to make them practical.

    Like this blog here, it talks about marriage, then it tries to understand marriage and then further elaborate on the fundamentals spiritual marriages. By understanding a concept, removing the clouds, then it becomes practical for a person to be practical.

    The common scene finds that ideals have been half-baked, or half-understood or just incomplete.
    We are here to complete the ideal with all it's elements. Arriving at that, then there nothing to stop you.

    It's all about making it practical for a person to be practical. This is ideal. Hope u see the logic.

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  8. The idealist is one who pursues more of ideals than of practical considerations.
    Idealism as per this definition is indeed a total failure.
    I called spiritual marriages as ideal, a polite way of saying it ain't happening, then i gave the two points to consider(number of marriages and same sex marriages), you thanked me but didn't consider... should we wait for the next post or even comment, as long as we are practical. i am enjoying2.

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  9. Now, this blog has not taken the time to elaborate on spiritual marriage. I just wanted to upload a summary of my thoughts.

    Every marriage has three elements.
    L, C and S. As long as S>(L+C), the marriage holds good.

    In the analogy of Mother-child, I need you to take only the aspect that shows that, to a mother, a child is always a child, this human relationship is one of the strongest compared to Husband-Wife, Father-Son. I won't say that M-C is perfect, but the best/nearest example to show the meaning of a spiritual marriage.

    The husband and wife love each other's souls, that love is so great and energizing that it makes it so practical and pleasurable, such marriages are good for the world.

    And as I said earlier, marriage came to be an instrument that controls the human sexual energy.

    Homo-marraiges can happen. Even if every govt. sets it as legal, homo-marriages send the society out of equilibrium, again children suffers, lesser youth more older people story continues.

    Then regarding poly-marriage, that's also based on logic, in places where women are more than men, men can marry more than one woman, if the other wife permits.
    Polygamy is possible, because one man can satisfy many women. But Polyandry is out of balance because generally one woman can't satisfy several men. Reason: The scientific fact that men have more sexual appetite than women. That single woman for many men, she would have to suffer a lot, and mind you, the children have different fathers. But in polygamy, the child knows exactly who is mother and father is.

    I agree with the practice of polygamy in countries with females much more than males.

    As a corollary:
    India has a deficiency in women, we should not have any legal option for polygamy available but sadly, our constitution has the open option for the Muslim-background people to practice that custom legally. But of course there are millions of cases in every other community-background that are having illegal poly-marriages.

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  10. Can i ask you one more thing? Can't S type of marriage happen at the very first level, I mean if someone braves to ignore the factors leading to L & C types... being very practical, according to you what should he/she look for, if he/she is ever to get married (and strictly in the sense of marriage that you mentioned) in today's world.

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  11. I just got done with a very long reply, I pressed send, and I lost it all.

    I did not notice that the net got auto disconnected for some reason. So I have started again.... Need you to accept my slow pace of reply.

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  12. ahem ahem ... a practical excuse or an ideal one?
    lols!

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  13. Definition of idealism as per this particular post: The idealist is one who pursues more of ideals than of practical considerations.

    Now, quoting your sentence, "I called spiritual marriages as ideal, a polite way of saying it ain't happening"

    I say that this sentence is highly ideal in it's content.

    Explanation:

    But before I get into it, let me make some things solidly clear: Here are some laws based on Created nature:

    LAW 1 : Pratical means to be able to practice. And to practice, one needs a plan, and to have a good plan, one needs to think. Therefore, to be practical, one need to think and then plan and then do. Actions just dont happen, they come out of plans which in turn come out of thoughts.

    Pracitcal = Thinking about the issue + then Planning out of the thoughts + then Doing out of the plan.

    LAW 2 : Only good thinking can make a good plan possible and only out of a good plan can it be possible to make a good action. If we have bad thinking, we can never make a good plan, and a bad plan gives us bad actions.

    Good Pracitcal = GT + only then possible GP + only then possible GA

    LAW 3 : We are balanced when we do good. Bad things are bad because they set the society out of equilibirum, people suffer on the whole, so we do good.

    Balanced society = GThings>BadThings

    LAW 4: Have Faith in the Unknown, to make the practical truly practical.

    Faith Factor F(Practical) = True Practical

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  14. Now coming back to your sentence....

    Let us take the example of a man who wishes to travel from Delhi to Trivandrum, for this, he needs to find out the safe, punctual and affordable ways to reach Trivandrum, he needs to know where to get in to the transport system, and when to get off. Say he choses train. He needs to know where to get the ticket from, he can arrange all such using his abilities.

    Then there are other factors that need to be satisfied to make the journey a success, he needs to have FAITH in the railway system that the train is safe, the tracks are safe, he needs to have faith in the UNKNOWN that there will be no strikes on the tracks, no accidents, no train carnage, no meteorite falling on the track etc... Take into account all the factors that are required, there can be infinite. E.g. For some reason the planet Jupiter should not collide with the Earth in a flash of a second or the train driver's assitant should not have posioned the driver so that he could lose his eye sight and get his job. If the train driver loses sight during the journey, a train accident may occur......like this there are infinite factors, so we need to have faith in the system.

    To be practical means to do one's job of thinking well, planning well and doing well and then have faith in the system. All people who travel in the train have to accept this practicality, this calculated risk, they take the faith, consciously or unconsciously.

    But there are others who get perplexed at the risk of taking the faith, they say they will only embark on a journey if it's happening. They need guarantee that the train WILL reach the destination, guarantee that no asteroid should fall on the track, everything must be perfect, only then will I board the train, first show me the 100% guarantee, show it first in practice that no asteroid, no strike, no accident, no obstacle should be there, only then shall I board the train, in fact why don't you just shut the whole train system if you can't. Otherwise I am fine and comfortable here in my old shell.
    E.g. Recently there was a cricket match in Delhi, and the lights went off, it was a shame indeed for our sports authorities, later there was an interview session of the audience by some channel, and some of the people said, "hey, we are going to screw up with our commonwealth, there is no hope!" They give up so easily on development, they like to be negative idealists. But look at China how it held the Olympics, China is setting an example for India indirectly, "hey have faith, no matter how bad things are, you can get things up and going, correct your plans, and get going for it, make a good Commonwealth games". But the idealists, they just want to say, na, we are going to screw up, it aint happening.

    Such people are known as idealists, little do they know, that every single foot step is only a matter of practicality, of having faith, that no car comes and knocks them off, what guarantee do they have that their legs will lift for the next step?

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  15. So here, in this blog I am doing the first step of practicality: Thinking about a good marriage, I am trying to gather good thoughts about how a marriage can be valuable, making a good collection of thoughts, then based on that one can make a good plan, and by understanding this good plan, only then can one reach a good valuable action.

    And you are trying to say that I am being impractical???? that my thoughts are not happening? Refer LAW 1 for meaning of PRACTICAL.

    See dear, all that I am saying aint some new discovery, it's the way things are. In the past, present and future, if ever there was any marriage that did succeed to be good and valuable, it's only because it had the S>(L+C). I am not creating ideals, I am trying to put down accurate observations.

    Then another thing: Nowadays it is common for people to confuse, mal-practical for practical: Due to lack of thought, they mistake a "bad plan" for a "good plan". Furthermore, if they have really do have good plans, people have a poor understanding of their "good plans" and still they go all out to do things, and create more imbalance in the society, others suffers for others mistakes, and others mistakes in turn makes others suffer. E.g. Some mates used to copy in exams, they crammed, they did not care for others, just get the marks, be practical they said to me, but that's not being practical, that's being mal-practical. I am going to college not to get marks, not to get a certificate, but to become a man who delivers some growth for the country, my college was a govt. aided, the 50th best engg. college in India, I just had to pay 25,000/- for 8 semesters. The tax payers of India paid my fees, and the college mission statement is : to make make India socially and economically developed through technology. And that is my goal, my plan and action. APJ Abdul Kalam says all the time, "Small aim is a crime". HE uses the word CRIME. Yes very true, to enjoy something that you donot deserve is a crime indeed. In my college days, my best plan was to start my own company ASAP, but then I realised that the system is faulty. I can make money, out social development would still be in bad shape.

    A man can have the best plan and have faith in the human system, but sometimes if the human system is faulty, then his plan however great will also fail. So he embarks on a journey to refine the human system, by winning the better nature of the humans, to get the system back in shape, but by then, he might be too old to enjoy his own life, but atleast other's can enjoy.

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  16. See the movie HAPPY FEET, there is the scene where the penguin jumps into the sea, swims across stormy oceans....to meet the humans to convince them with his dancing feet, to convince them not to over-fish. And he got trapped in some zoo, but one day, some girl turns up, and spots him dancing, finally he gets the attention he deserved, because he always had faith in the UNKNOWN.

    See the movie "The Message", it's about a man who wanted to refine the human system, he was against killing girl babies, he was against corruption, he was against devil worship, so he started designing methods for people to get back in touch with reality, and then in that movie there were some negative idealists, some lady I think, she said, that man is preaching to the people to kneel 5 times every single day to some unseen concept of God, how ideal, it aint happening! Go find his followers and kill them, start with the weakest, lots of misfortune happened to the our Message man, he had to leave his home town for another town, but he loved his followers so much that he made everyone else go first and then only he left, he was the last to leave........and so his followers waited for him at the other city, waited for him, some climbed trees, some prayed, they waited, they waited.......finally they saw him, they rejoiced, they built their first worship centre!

    I am not asking Sachin to hit a sixer at every ball, just winning the match will do, that's known as the threshold level perfection, but you need to have a good aim to hit the ball in the first place. I am not asking Dhoni to hit the ball out of the country border, just the boundary ropes will do. I am not asking for perfection, just threshold perfection. Let's have the good thoughts sprout out good plans, and the good plans sprout out good actions, all for a better world to live in, for our children and children's children.

    Let me know if you got anything good out of this comment. If there is anything, or is it more sentences like "ahem ahem ... a practical excuse or an ideal one?"

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  17. i got much good out of your elaborate comments but my answer...
    r u still writing what should one look for to marry spiritually at the first level? i said if a guy/gal ignores the factors leading to L & C type marriage, is he/she to get married?
    a short answer would do ;)

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  18. L-type happens when a person is a slave to his/her desires.

    C-type happens when a person is compelled to be a slave of other's desires.

    S-type is all about NOT being a slave to any desire or anyone.

    All marriages have all three L, C, and S in them. If the man and woman nurtures their marriage to have the section S > (L+C) section of their marriage, then good for them and good for the world.

    If two spiritual people marry, it's a great moment to celebrate for the world, the angels will shower their flowers, the Gandharvas will play music and the fairies shall sing songs.

    By spiritual people, I mean those who truly have:

    A practical Vision
    Empathy towards all,
    Spiritual intelligence and
    Love for the soul- the universal soul.

    Four factors:

    Truth
    Beauty
    Freedom
    Love

    Regarding practical Vision, do remember again, marriage in general, is a human social instrument to channel the desires/sexual energy and to stabilize a good environment for the children. e.g. A spiritual 18 yr girl marrying a spiritual 99 yr old man would be a failure for their kids or a 24 yr spiritual girl marrying a 25 yr spiritual but unhealthy jobless boy would be unsustainable. A good environment means that the parents should be healthy, secure in money and secure in understanding and satisfying each other's needs (Intellectual, mental, physical). A threshold is all that we can ask for.

    But anyone in the world can possibly satisfy these, anyone can be a candidate, there is no telling who cannot be!

    Look at a 40+ lady marrying Mohammed the handsome young, look at Jesus and his interest in Mary Magadelene of a brothel, look at Krishna with Radha, she came to his rescue even when she was someone else's wife.

    It's all about Faith.

    I can just make observations, it for you to deduce, for you to plan, and for you to act.

    The choice is yours and the blessings are God's.

    Hope the answer was not too long...

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  19. but u took so long....

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  20. A practical Vision
    Empathy towards all,
    Spiritual intelligence and
    Love for the soul- the universal soul.

    Truth
    Beauty
    Freedom
    Love

    Spiritual marriage takes a lot!
    lols, no wonder ppl prefer dowry, common sensical approach;

    hope things work out for you, while you practice the idealism of such.

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  21. Actually S marriage is the only marriage, the only choice, others are just pseudomorphs, drama.

    Not plastic, not mirage....says Agni the poet.....spiritual is a real flower.
    +
    As per the posted definition: Idealism cant be practised. Only the practicable can be practised.

    My chances of having a flowery life are less, because I am passionate about sacrificing my personal potentials in life for the betterment of the world...

    All my energy is focused on my thinking nerves to draw out plans for others to enjoy. Because I have enjoyed enough of this world.

    Just floating around like Tails and spinning around like Sonic.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Agni said reminded me,

    "Rumi used to call his last day as his wedding day with the beloved.......so romantic."

    ReplyDelete
  23. now that can b spiritual marriage, according to what i started with, not going by the strict definition of marriage ... wow! was about to reach Rumi but your explanations came in between;)
    but still lotsa ideal stuff on such a common topic, thanks.(full stop)

    ReplyDelete
  24. So still thinking that spiritual marriage is ideal/not happening for you eh?

    Sure that if Rumi had a great wife, they must have had a spiritual marriage

    :) A Saint once said, "doing good is the reward for doing good. It's instant."

    I meet many like you, well the discussion has sharpened my skills.

    I am enjoying and rewarded.

    God's spirit is in every one. Marry anyone, the spirit is there, the choice is yours, blessings are God's.

    ReplyDelete
  25. wat d'ya mean u meet many like me? eh?
    and puhleez dis chat conversatn can't b being published, may delete later, thanks ha

    ReplyDelete
  26. and wat drives u to conclude i ain't married? common sense? lols

    ReplyDelete
  27. Why delete!

    You are anonymous, hahahha!!!

    I meet many people like you, by that I mean there are so many people with questions, and I need to get better at putting good answers across. You are helping me brush my answering skills.

    ReplyDelete
  28. i know ds anonymous thing, its just dat..........everytime i have said something cool n witty n i see it there, i wish for once i had d credit of being known but then...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Marry anyone...can mean two ways..

    Marry yourself to someone...
    Marry your child to someone...
    Marry your friend to someone...

    Marry anyone can also be said like an aside.. my own thoughts.

    e.g. I can tell my friend's grand mother.

    "Marry anyone, the choice is yours, blessings are God's."

    Anything more dear?

    ReplyDelete
  30. oh c'mon.. Sample this, it outsmarts you:
    tomorrow your girl tells you, "i wanna marry you"
    you say, "to whom"
    (fits of laughter,lols lols,lols!)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh, well, I did not feel you were getting cool and witty in there, don't remember any as of now, whenever I finally feel the cool n wit, I will try to let you know.

    It's good to make good wits. Not the accusing types or the sarcastic types, those are for sadists.

    I will appreciate all your good wits.

    ReplyDelete
  32. oh, well, then wish u some out of the well thinking and analytical abilities. don't mind but u do fall short.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Well, to you that was really funny.

    But to a passionate lover, if his girl approached him and said "Will you marry me?" He would just smile with utmost joy.

    Well, Amy Rose keeps proposing Sonic all the time, he has to find new reasons to say no to her. Well, that's his personal life.

    I will tell him to read your joke.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Good that you learnt something or enjoyed something however little it might be, at the end of it all, that's the greatest victory for me. :)

    I will always fall short, but will always strive for the threshold.

    Your idea to be full is idealism/idol worship.

    ReplyDelete
  35. now now don't u break d leg..
    the girl only comes to you n says,"will you marry me?"
    like u smartly say it can be marry can mean marry yourself, your child etc etc..
    going by the same flow, you say to her,"to whom? dear"
    y acting like a sadist yourself? everything's ok? its just funny! :))

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well, now things are really getting funny!

    ReplyDelete
  37. 36 already? 50 is still far.. faraway,
    bye.

    ReplyDelete
  38. "will you marry me?"
    cannot be marry can mean marry yourself, your child etc etc.

    "I wanna marry you"
    can mean marry the self, your child etc etc.

    hehehehe!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Good night anonymous married or unmarried sweetie!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Caught ya! u can only laugh at others' mistakes, they r funnier to you than the jokes...
    wonder what such ppl r called?

    ReplyDelete
  41. they r called chauvidists.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh finally Anonymous has accepted that he/she has made a mistake. And that I laughed at her!

    Finally!

    Sir/Madam mistake early on was a "common sense" thing for you, was it not? Then the "Marry anyone" part. hehhehehehe

    Houseflies look for the filth in an area and Honey bees look for the nectar in an area.

    ReplyDelete
  43. don't conclude u r a housefly, u have got a sting!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. and if its about me finding mistakes, well editors always better the copies thus...ha ha ha
    dont bring filthy words like filth in between
    v r gonna make a 1/2century:)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Accusing people as chauvinists for laughing at another's proud mistakes!

    Nice! Way to go, good comment, you need credit for that.

    What do you gain by accusing people?

    Yes, I sting the bad that exists in people.

    I try to collect nectar, make honey, give it the one's who need it. But the sarcastic house flies, start bickering.

    See, replace ur negative energy with positive air.

    Stop being ideal, be practical!

    ReplyDelete
  46. You are not finding mistakes like the editor, you just want to argue.

    I am least interested in arguments.
    Please if you wish to start one, find somewhere else.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Being Good Practical
    =
    Good thoughts
    +
    only then from these good thoughts can we have a possible Good plan
    +
    only then from the good plan can we have a possible Good action.

    There are three parts to it.
    We need to clear all three stages to be practical. Being practical is very difficult, that's why people find it easy to be ideal or even hypocritical. MALPRACTICAL.

    As a corollary:
    From this comment section discussion I learnt a new thing, about the term common sense, I thought the word "Common sense" was a synonym for "logic". It actually means the sense that common natural understanding of the people.

    I appreciate such info, and not silly arguments.

    We should talk evidence and not depend on mind game perceptions.

    The very idea that "common sense blinds" has now become another common sense. Such hypocrisy and illusion clouds the people's minds that they can't see.

    And our job does not end here, we got to find out why they ended up blind? And cure them at all costs, before they sink the planet with all of us in it.

    ReplyDelete
  48. The very idea that one should be perfectly practical is again another ideal.

    That's why I have the word threshold.....it maintains the high aim at a possible level and at the same time gives the good results.

    Small pox was eliminated.

    Slave trade was eliminated.

    Colonialism was eliminated.

    We don't compromise on our values, yet we achieve them, not at perfect levels but at threshold levels.

    The first stage of practice
    Thinking stage should be at it's purest. Then when we go to the plan level, the purity decreases slightly due to slight compromises and adjustments.
    And then when we do it, the purity decreases even more, as application takes lots of energy and factors to be satisfied.

    But the final result must cross the threshold level.

    Then you can say you practiced something, otherwise it's just drama or just confirmed hypocrisy.

    When APJ Abdul Kalam speaks, you say he inspires. When I speak, you call me a chauvinist and impractical, where is your evidence?

    All history, present and past is my evidence to show that anything that every got valuable to Mankind, happened thanks to good thoughts, plans and actions.

    All I asked was that marriage should be based on true love and not some plastic drama. And then people start their negative thinking....it ain't happening, we need to be immoral to get things done, they say to be practical we have to have cheap/easy goals.

    No wonder the world is having too much of hypocrites and malpractices.

    So cure the diseased to save the planet before they sink it.

    ReplyDelete
  49. There's a move called Pursuit of Happyness, in it there is a dialogue that you should never forget, when Smith tells his son in the basketball court, "Let no one ever tell you, you CAN'T do something, not even me.

    Done.

    Everyone is always welcome to share any good knowledge that might help me and not any blunt negating argument. Thank you in advance

    ReplyDelete
  50. http://www.britannica.com/blogs/

    ReplyDelete

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