An ordinary shooting star
"Never did an eye see the sun unless it had first become sun-like, and never can the soul have vision of the First Beauty unless itself be beautiful." - Plotinus
"They say a picture is worth a thousand words, true, but to continue. At this scale, a recorded reel video would be worth a thousand such pictures. And a sequence of eye-sight real life would be worth a thousand such videos, now imagine the number of words in your life." - Agni Ruhen
A picture takes a still of a moment, in a particular direction. Whereas a video is a recording of quick overlaps of pictures, but again stuck to the limited direction of focus provided by the director/actor/cameraman. But in a sequence of eye-sight real life, we have a good choice on how to see what we wish to see, we have a choice for direction, and there is so much animation in a single screen of life that it's difficult to imagine the crate and rate of information that can be deduced from our take-it-for-granted lives.
Here at this Blog editor, I must share with you my happiness, that I have enjoyed this blogging so much. I feel like it's worth it. Even though my write ups have had several drawbacks. e.g. the blog post "Marriage is a flower" got around 50+ comments tagged to it, just because the message that I wanted to convey was not properly presented by me. I had to redo some part of that text, to make my message more clear and evident.
By looking at my site stats, I just have very few returning readers, some from Bangalore, some from Thrissur, some from the US, but one from Kathmandu, yes Mr. Radhakrishnan, I am talking about you, it's good to know that you are visiting here, do leave your comments and then there is always one other person who visits this blog frequently and it's in that one anonymous muse that I spend the nights to wake up, to write and to remain in silence. I must add that, the presence of one's silence does not mean absence. My message might be threshold silent, but it's there.
It's not only very important that I should write in a form that can comfortably allow the majority-readers to grasp my message, but also to write in a form that they can understand in the way that they need it to, so that, it's applicable to their lives. That's the threshold level for writing a good article. But sometimes, there are times when people read so well, that they end up making conclusions that are much greater than our own, and when that happens, it gives me immense satisfaction. But there are other times, when people are stuck to reading life through their own tainting mind-clouds, that they end up reading what's not supposed to be there in the text, but what's in their own confused confessions and then things go all haywire. And it's because of this unfortunate type of readership-environment that there are many bad-money-making-writers out there, who write a lot of gold-rusting stuff that's filled with sarcasm, and moreover it appears to be so intelligent and so cool that they need us to read it all between the lines or their lines, or maybe even from their bottom lines. And we need to unconsciously abase ourselves to be able to understand what they are trying to say. And as per the prevalent customs, we are supposed to reward their work with a smirk that unfortunately leaves our naturally beautiful faces to be a little jolly-good-ugly. That's their symbol of success. And most of them do succeed at it, to see their own failure.
Freeing a nerve, should not be a great challenge, I tell you. Yesterday, I was contemplating to stop all my blogging, but then I just chided myself by saying, "Hey Anel, you '3 3 3 idiots in one', hang in there, don't kill yourself thrice at the same time. Why to drown yourself in the dirty water, suffocate yourself in the polluted air and make yourself watch the moment of tragedy, all at the same time?".
From my early years of life, I have always acknowledged that, the ultimate method to commit suicide is to Live. Just live, as they say, as every second progresses, we are dying anyways, as per schedule. But I must add, that life and death don't matter that much, it's a life of Brahmanic-consciousness that matters, but then I must add again to complete it, that it's a life of Brahmanic-consciousness with a purpose of benefiting everyone is that which matters the most, I call it the state of Ihsanic-Brahmanism. I thank Mohammed my great-grand-father for this beautiful word called "Ihsan". It completes the idea of religion.
And for some fine reason, that reminds me of a song... and the song is "Secret Garden" by the Boss, Bruce Springsteen. No, I am not posting the lyrics here. You can click the link if you like.
I think Life has a secret garden. A secret garden in your own heart that contains a Right brain. And like some conspiracy theorists say, there are those many empathy-less soldiers who have imprisoned you to remain distorted inside the left brain of your very own heart.
Now to get autobiographical....
And in the life of a great Soldier, there's an immense satisfaction when he finally gets to meet the enemy of his level, for there is no great infusion-of-good to the world when a soldier wastes his energy in petty fights with some street drunkards or even with cheap politicians or even with mad normal men, better to run away than to fight with these scream heads.
The soldier needs to fight with his exact nemesis. Seeing him, he falls in love with him, to take care of him. And his mission begins. He outlines the battle plans, he makes the schedule, gathers the ammunition even before he assesses his resources. He visualizes the quality of his authority over his own men, and time and again he forces himself to contemplate on the reason why he has to focus on the principle for war or peace.
Then the time for the battle cry and the life begins.
I remember the first time that my name got printed in the Indian newspaper, it happened unintentionally. Back in 2001, I had sent an email to a paper, saying that I wish to start a campaign against the war in Afghanistan, please help me with information. And after a few days, my sister came up to me, "hey Anel, your name is in the papers, are you starting some campaign to fight against war!" Ah man, was I not baffled at that, the editor made a special column for me, saying that "Anel C. S wishes to know how he could start a 'Stop the war campaign'" and they mentioned my rediff email address. But it was very sad that I just got two emails for that. I could not make the most out of that, just like many other times. The time was not ready, I knew very little, I understood very little. But today, I realise that both war and peace are bad if they exist for the wrong reasons. A war fought for a wrong reason as well as a peace that prevails thanks to a wrong reason are both equally poisonous to humankind.
Such is the ease to free a nerve, because there are those inexplicable moments in life, that urge you to keep moving ahead.
It's been more than 12 years now, since that Moment, it happened during those days in Africa when we used to glance beyond the stars, when we used to name the neighbourhood cats with the names of Space shuttles/missions/satellites. There was Apollo the Royal cat, then there was Sputnik - the cat that showed up rarely... and then one evening, it was unusual for me to stare at the sky at daytime, I looked up at the sky and while playing on the swing, as I was talking to my friends Lalu and Ravi about ambition, right then and there before our eyes, I saw this yellow Sun-like comet with a tail streak across the sky from the east to the west....it played hide-n-seek behind the clouds and then vanished into the west of the skies.
I confirmed the incident with my friends and then later, I ran to the radio to find out more about it, but there was nothing in the news broadcast. It took me several days to finally assume, that I solved the puzzle. I read it in a weekend newspaper supplement, that the Hale Bopp Comet had recently passed by.
Later that same evening, again with my friends by the swing, we kept looking up, all through the permissible night, and this time I sighted an ordinary shooting star. And I smiled.
"We must not run after it, but we must fit ourselves for the vision and then wait tranquilly for it, as the eye waits on the rising of the Sun which in its own time appears above the horizon and gives itself to our sight." - Plotinus